Cooperative principle in communication

Ever since God wanted to disrupt the construction of the tower of Babel, human beings keep thinking about how to communicate with each other more efficiently. Grice’s cooperative principle describes how people achieve effective conversational communication in common social situations. That is, the speaker and the listener cooperate to exchange meaning.

there are four maxims of the cooperative principle to regulate the conversation which are: Quantity, Quality, Relevance, and Manner.

• Quantity: Say no less than the conversation requires. Say no more than the conversation requires.

A: Are you hungry?

B: Not at all. I just had some steak, lobster, bread, pasta, chocolate lava cake with my date.

In this case, B provided more details than A required, so it is a counterexample of the maxim of quantity.

• Quality: Don't say what you believe to be false. Don't say things for which you lack evidence.

A:Are you hungry?
B: Um...not really. (I’m hungry but I want to avoid you from asking me out for dinner)
In this case, B is not telling a truth, so it is a counterexample of the maxim of quality.

• Relevance: Be relevant. 

A:Are you hungry?
B:I like to swim.
In this case, B is telling something irrelevant, so it is a counterexample of the maxim of relevance.

• Manner: Don't be obscure. Don't be ambiguous. Be brief. Be orderly.

A:Are you hungry?
B:Well, I’ve worked out for 3 hours. I’m exhausted…(and hungry, for sure!)
In this case, B is not saying something totally irrelevant, but it is ambiguous. So it is a counterexample of the maxim of Manner.

The first 3 maxims are more about the content of the conversations while the maxim of manner focuses on attitude more. 

I was surprised that conversations can brook down and described as principles. And these principles reminded me it is never an easy thing to communicate to one and another. Meanwhile, I felt grateful for those who are willing to communicate with me since it took a lot of effort to make the conversation continued. 

I know how hard communication from my work and life experience. Most of the time I try my best to communicate efficiently, but somehow I found that I might consciously or unconsciously flout the maxims. When I meet some new friends, sometimes I’m too nervous to talk well. I might say something redundant or a little irrelevant. To improve my social skills, I learned that it is good to provide more details in a conversation and ask questions. These techniques can help to build engagement. But apparently, it is against the maxim of quantity.

Why people do not follow the principle all the time? Maybe it’s because they want to engage more, to be polite or avoid conflict. But there is one thing, in a different culture the degrees of being polite or causing conflict are different. No matter how hard we try, there is still a grey zone in any communications. However, it doesn’t mean the maxims are not useful at all.

I would like to adopt some ideas from the principle to make a communication checklist for myself. 

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Before the communication: Be prepared

I can do some research which is about the topic or the listener. Besides, I can check for the content or context that I need to follow or the communication style of the listener. If it is a casual conversation, an open mind and a happy mood can also be the preparation.

☐During the communication: Manner/ Quantity

In my opinion, patience is the most important thing in communication. It is good to confirm for the key points or agreements or clarify an idea or problem. It can not only apply in normal conversation, with empathy, it is also useful for a conflict. 

The Quantity of a conversation is also important. If the content is too much, it might overwhelm or bored the listener. In the business context, sometimes not revealing too much information, it’s a way to protect the business. 

☐After the communication: Feedback/ Stay clam

We speak every day but barely think about the quality of the communication. I ask myself to be more aware of the feedback from others, even if it is subtle. 

Sometimes, there are many factors that make communication succeed. And don’t forget there is always a cultural gap. So once we try our best to communicate, no matter it turns out good or not, we can just stay calm and look for another opportunity to make it better.